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“For the past many years I have been a marijuana enthusiast and activist, bringing with me to most every stage a clear message of ‘Free the Weed’...”  -Watermelon

Watermelon is a nudist who works on Wreck Beach selling, yep, you guessed it, watermelon. Oh yeah, she may have also sold "magic pot cookies" from time to time as well. She's also a comedian with a wicked sense of almost pornographic humor. After being busted in terrible case of entrapment, she decided to fight her case instead of just rolling over. Since then her fame and noteriety have grown. She's become a model for many marijuana magazines like High Times and Cannabis Culture.

We had the pleasure of talking with marijuana mistress Matermelon after a great performance with those kinky Canadians, 'The Wet Spots' at the Cabaret of Questionable Taste. We approached her Highness to be a guest judge in the next weed olympics, she was friendly and down to earth except for the fact that she had been partaking in her own baked goods and was definetly flying high.

AU - How would you describe yourself?

Watermelon - Happy. Healthy. Over the kitchen counter drug dealer.

AU - What really went down with the whole cookie thing?

Watermelon - A couple of plummaged buffoons disguised as RCMP were desperate to be heroes on planet earth, so they organized a sting operation on Wreck Beach to take down the happiest girl alive. They sent in two undercover officers disguised as liberated glaucoma patients who managed to sieze three gingersnap cookies after they asked a few beer vendors where something of that nature could be procured. They swiftly left the beach reconvening back at headquarters where they spared no expense or time sealing up the cookies in an air tight vault right after they irradiated them. On to a Richmond courthouse two years later where they were Exhibit A. I of course was innocent and lovely and I might add framed, in more ways than one. I think Dairy Land sponsored the case but haven't any conclusive evidence. So I am flattered to stand here today a free woman who fought the law and won... five times. Three aquittels, two dropped charges and a threatening appeal dissolve into thin air. At the low low price to the tax dollar of in and around a half million maybe a whole. The moral of this story kids is don't swallow poisonous pills, (translation, NEVER COP A PLEA) or you'll never be free again. It might be expensive to be me, but it's expensive to be free.

AU - What's your opinion on decriminalization and or legalization?

Watermelon - It's like weed is too rich, so we have weed lite. Like gay lite.
It's okay to be gay just don't hold hands in public.

AU - What do you think of our local weed warrior Ted Smith?

Watermelon - Nice guy. Needs a good lawyer. Needs a lot of support. "Go Ted."

AU - What's your opinion on the whole Mark Emery fiasco?

Watermelon - If he goes, who's next? "The Fags"? the Mexicans? Me, that's who. I am out of here. Going to Buenos Aires to tango dance. Hoping they have some decent weed down there.

AU - What do you think will come of it?

Watermelon - War or Peace the potential for equal goods and bads are there.

AU - What's it like being a hot nudist?

Watermelon - HOT! FREE! I can never decide what not to wear.

AU - What's your obsession with vagina jokes?

Watermelon - Got tired of dick jokes.

AU - What did you think of the weed in Victoria?

Watermelon - Only smoked the one joint. The bag we were packing was from Cortes Island. When I get high everybody is a winner. I'd don't like to judge. I like to jiggle.

AU - Will you be a judge for the weed olympics next issue?

Watermelon - Whatever shall I wear?

AU - What are some highlights of your career?

Watermelon - Getting arrested four times. Getting aquitted three times. My second calendar coming out in the UK for 2006.

AU - What are your plans for the future?

Watermelon - Write a cookbook, go on speaking tour, launch my Pot Cookie Empire!